It all started with challenging myself to approach the Self Portrait from a different angle. How do I really capture… ME? I’ve always known my inner sexual being is a huge part of who I am. At age 11, I discovered masturbation and the rest as they say is history.
Another aspect of myself that always intrigued me was knowing how I would get turned on by a mans face while we were fucking. Yes, fucking. I’ve only ever “made love” to one person and at this point in life have lost count of the number of sexual partners I’ve been with. When seeing another mans face during sex, I would be turned on and use their expression as a guide for what was working and what was not. Their faces provided proof of pleasure, pain, satisfaction or the complete absence of any one or all three. I’ve always been fascinated by the nonverbal facial queues provided by my partners. Facial expression was difficult to figure out in the beginning. Facial expressions used during sex are often found in other areas of life. Facial expressions for the most part are ambiguous and rarely cast a single meaning. Deciphering these sexual non-verbals became part of my challenge and part of the pleasure.
I realized I knew what their faces may be expressing to me but had never seen my own. I had always seen the face of the man below or on top of me. I would open and close my eyes causing his figure to turn from positive to negative as if staring into the sun for a few seconds then closing my eyes. But what were they seeing? What ambiguous, nonverbal messages was I sending them? Did it even matter? Seriously? We were fucking. Who really cared?
Apparently, I did. I immediately got out a tripod, mounted the camera, grabbed my remote shutter release, stripped naked and began pleasuring myself in search of the answer to the question I had only begun to ask. What messages is my facial expression potentially sending my partner when I am in a heightened state of arousal and orgasm? As I expected, my facial expressions were just as ambiguous as my partners.
The ORGASM FACES series provides a small glimpse into the world of mens facial expression during heightened arousal and orgasm. The series plants the seed of questioning. What do our nonverbal queues, facial or otherwise send our intimate partners, male or female?